General Aladdin was known throughout Kingdom 1507 for three things:
Unfortunately for Aladdin, Bob had recently become convinced that General Aladdin needed a vacation. This idea had not come from Aladdin. Or SOV. Or anyone with functioning judgment. It had come from Bob. Which was how most disasters began.
It started when Bob visited SOV and found Aladdin standing at the gate reviewing reports.
"General!" Bob announced.
"No."
Bob blinked. "I haven't said anything yet."
"You were about to ask something."
"I was."
"No."
Bob thought for a moment. "What if I wasn't?"
"You were."
Bob sighed.
Aladdin returned to his paperwork. The matter should have ended there. It did not.
Later that evening Bob found Kara. "Kara."
"No."
"You don't even know what I'm going to say."
"I know it's a Bob idea."
"It is."
"No."
Bob sat beside her. "I think Aladdin needs fun."
Kara slowly lowered her book. "No."
"He's always working."
"No."
"He's stressed."
"No."
"I could help."
"Absolutely not."
The next morning Aladdin vanished. SOV erupted into panic. Esmeralda organized searches. RearAdmiral reviewed reports. Rynnik took notes. The officers searched every road. Nobody could find him.
Meanwhile…
Aladdin opened his eyes. He was sitting in a wagon. His hands weren't tied. His feet weren't tied. He wasn't injured. There was even tea. Bob was driving. Poorly.
"Bob."
"Good! You're awake!"
"Why am I in a wagon?"
Bob looked confused. "Because we're on vacation."
Aladdin stared. "What."
"Vacation."
"Bob."
"Vacation."
"Bob."
"Vacation."
Aladdin closed his eyes.
Hours later they arrived at Bob's destination. An isolated lakeside campsite. Bob jumped from the wagon.
"BEHOLD!"
Aladdin looked around. A fishing pole. A campfire. Several sandwiches. A hammock. A sign that read: MANDATORY RELAXATION ZONE.
Aladdin rubbed his forehead. "You kidnapped me."
"I borrowed you."
"You kidnapped me."
"I asked."
"You absolutely did not."
"I asked spiritually."
For three hours Aladdin attempted to leave. For three hours Bob prevented him. Not with ropes. Not with guards. With activities.
Every time Aladdin reached the road:
"WAIT! FISHING."
When he ignored fishing:
"WAIT! PICNIC."
When he ignored the picnic:
"WAIT! LOOK AT THIS INTERESTING ROCK."
When he ignored the rock:
"WAIT! GOAT."
There was, somehow, a goat.
By sunset Aladdin sat beside the lake. He was exhausted. Not from captivity. From Bob. Bob handed him a sandwich. They sat in silence. For nearly five minutes. A new record.
Finally Aladdin sighed. "This is nice."
Bob gasped. "YOU ADMIT IT!"
"No."
"You just said—"
"I said the lake is nice."
"The sandwich?"
"Acceptable."
"The hammock?"
"Reasonable."
"The goat?"
"Confusing."
Bob grinned. "I knew it."
At that exact moment Kara arrived. Followed by half of SOV. And three extremely annoyed officers.
Aladdin looked up. Kara looked at Bob. Bob immediately pointed at Aladdin.
"He likes the hammock."
Aladdin did not help. Unfortunately, he was currently in the hammock. Holding a sandwich. Beside a campfire. Near a goat.
Kara folded her arms. "Bob."
"Yes?"
"You kidnapped General Aladdin."
"I improved General Aladdin."
"Bob."
"Relaxed General Aladdin?"
"BOB."
The ride home was quiet. Mostly because nobody allowed Bob to explain.
The next morning Aladdin returned to work. Everything was normal. Reports. Meetings. Planning. Discipline.
Then an officer noticed something. Pinned beside Aladdin's desk was a photograph. A lake. A campfire. A hammock. And a goat.
The officer blinked. "General?"
Aladdin continued reading reports. "Yes?"
"Why do you have this?"
Aladdin never looked up. There was a long pause.
Then: "No reason."
Across the kingdom, Bob smiled. Somehow. He knew he had won.